Mr. Kitty's bath

Mr. Kitty is 20 years old. My mom adopted him last year, when he was just a young thing of 19... As comes with the territory of geriatric felines, (so I'm told) he has loose bowels, as the hood of my car, the entire garage, and yard outside can testify. He refuses to use a litter box. And he always has fresh poop on his tail. So he stinks. Don't get me wrong, he's not completely useless. He's really quite amazing with the girls. Tessa picks him up all the time- much to my chagrin, as he leaves poop marks all over her clothing when she does this, but he never complains. She pulls on his tail. picks him up by the ears, and I never hear so much as a meow. Well we were sitting outside when Mr. Kitty came to join us, and his odor was mentioned. I must have said, "Mr. Kitty needs a bath" with absolutely no intention of following through with the suggested action. Siena was quick to call me on it. "Mom, you give Mr. Kitty a bath!" I said, "No way!" When she pointed out that the sprinklers were already on, and that he really needed it, I thought, "Well, what better time?" I ran in to grab some soap, grabbed the cat, lathered him up and rinsed him off in the sprinklers. It was maybe the only time I have heard Mr. Kitty protest, or meow at all in a year. He probably hasn't had a bath for a decade or 2, so I consider my civil service complete for another decade or so ;)